It’s been way too long since my last blog post friends. I’ve been busy hibernating through these cold, dark New England winter months. Can you believe it snowed here in Beantown on April 1st? I mean come on weather gods, give me a freakin’ break.
Just thinking about the snow gives me PTSD
But finally spring has arrived, which here in Boston means two nice sunny days, followed by five wet, soggy days. But as long as there’s no snow, you won’t hear old Bacon complain. Since the weather is warming up, I’m back in good spirits and I’m ready to start roaming the mean streets of Boston for new adventures once again.
Check out my new Spring look! Pretty dapper if I do say so myself (which I do).
April is a busy, exciting month here in Boston. So many big events and activities. I’ve been carefully contemplating the topic of my next blog post. Should I talk about Patriots' Day? A holiday celebrated by Bostonians on the 3rd Monday of April to commemorate the Battles of Lexington and Concord and the famous midnight ride of Paul Revere. And as a result, the beginning of the Revolutionary War.
"One if by land, and two if by sea, and on the opposite side of Pinckney Street, I’ll pee.
Ready to bark and spread the alarm, through every Beacon Hill brownstone, I'll warn.
For the city-folk to be up and to arm."
Pretty sure that’s how the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow poem goes.
I would make the BEST military lookout #BaconOnPatrol
OR instead... should I write about the oldest, most iconic marathon in the world – The 121st Boston Marathon?
I seriously considered writing a play by play of the entire Marathon route. Starting out in the western suburb of Hopkinton with 30,000 of my most athletic friends, running East towards the city, getting kissed by the liberal ladies of Wellesley as I soar through the Tunnel of Love, grimacing as I struggle to climb Heartbreak Hill, passing the rowdy crowds of Red Sox fans as they cheer my name through Fenway, making the final turn onto Hereford, and finally picking up the pace as I sprint down the homestretch on Boylston Street to the finish line! I can just imagine the cheers now… BACON! BACON! BACON!
Pretty sure I'd look exactly like this runner coming down the homestretch #perfectform
All the elite runners would be lining up to take a selfie with me. I could be a Boston icon just like Shalane Flanagan, or Kathrine Switzer, or my favorite American runner who goes by just one name like me, Meb.
MEB! MEB! MEB!
Just in case you were wondering, THIS IS BOSTON.
I had the entire race planned out perfectly, but then Mom showed me the official marathon map and I suddenly realized all the running involved. Did you know these crazy people actually RUN over 26 miles?? That’s about twenty six times farther than I ever want to walk. Not to mention the warm sun beating down on the course and all the noisy, sweaty fans smothering me with their support.
Twenty. Six. Miles. Just thinking about it makes me want to nap.
And suddenly the marathon seemed a lot less appealing. Fortunately, I found out you can also enjoy the marathon from the comfort of your own couch since the local TV stations live broadcast the entire thing. Problem solved!
Looking good, BPD!
So there I was relaxing on my couch, watching all my fellow Bostonians celebrate Patriots' Day and suddenly the idea for my next blog post just popped into my perfectly proportioned head.
For months now I’ve been organizing my most profound thoughts to create another list of life-changing Salty Advice from the wisest dog around… yours truly. (Remember my earlier post about How to Make Friends Like a BOSS-ton?) Well Boston winters last forever and I’ve had plenty of time to gather my insights to share. To ensure my advice is not only salty, but also scientifically sound I’ve been spending my free time gathering data, honing my tactics, and conducting my own covert behavioral experiments to provide you with the most reliable, practical advice. (By the way, thanks for the help Mom & Dad).
Don't worry about what I'm doing, Mom
Trust me when I tell you friends… my next post will not disappoint. Stay tuned to hear my latest Salty Advice and to learn a few scientifically proven tips and tricks from yours truly... COMING SOON! I hope you enjoy it!
- Bacon