MY BROTHER IS COMING!
Mom swears it’s only been nine months, but honestly I feel like five years have passed since I found out I was getting a baby brother. And guess what? He’s supposed to show up sometime this week! Friday to be exact, but I hear babies can be pretty unreliable, so I’ll believe it when I see him. (Besides, I put a lot of money on September 27th, so keep your paws crossed for me.)
In the meantime, I’ve been working hard to prepare for his arrival. Since we moved to Kansas City, I've been scoping out all the essential spots. (He can thank me later.) First things first, I found a place that serves crispy, salty, heartwarming bacon – McLain’s Market. As far as I'm concerned, good bacon is the only thing you really need, but just for good measure I also found a huge dog park - Leawoof Dog Park. My friends back in Boston would be so jealous. This dog park is seriously the size of a small farm. Turns out things are a little bigger out here in Kansas. Finally, I took one for the team and taste tested the homemade peanut butter and jelly treats at Three Dog Bakery. Turns out, they are delicious. So basically, I know where to find everything we need when my brother arrives.
Besides sniffing out the town, I've been busy getting my brother’s nursery ready. And you know what I learned friends? Babies come with a lot of stuff. So much stuff. Much more than pups like me. Mom always gives me trouble for being a heavy packer. But just because I can’t go anywhere without my cozy bed, personalized blanket, food, bacon treats, water, blue bowls, multiple leashes, collars, and bow ties and at least two stuffed friends for company doesn’t necessarily mean I’m high maintenance. My brother, on the other hand, will definitely be high maintenance judging by all the generous gifts he already received. Normally, I would be jealous of all his loot but in this case I'm mostly proud. He must be a real charmer since these gifts are very nice and these humans haven’t even met him yet!
While Mom and Dad sorted through all of my baby brother’s belongings, I took the liberty of setting aside a few of my favorites. These are what I like to call “the essentials”.
I like to call these “Bacon-inspired Burp Cloths and Matching Bib". Very high end and hard to find. I don't really understand the purpose of burp cloths, since I've been burping freely without cloths for over eight years now, but they definitely look sharp. I especially appreciate the "I Heart Bacon" embroidery. This baby might as well learn his allegiance from the start.
After a few minutes in the bib, I decided I'm more of a "collar and bow tie" kind of guy.
Next, I made a point to sort through all of my brother's clothes. I'm not usually a fan of clothes per se (I prefer the au naturel look). But I must admit he has lots of stylish options. For some reason these particular items were just calling my name. I think I'll leave these in the top drawer for safe keeping. And if this little guy gives me any trouble about wearing my favorite picks, I'll just shoot him this powerful "I'm the big brother" look. Basically a combination of my infamous Zoolander look, with less patience and more eye roll. I've been mastering this look for a few months now, should be very effective.
Now since I'm a Boston Terrier and have some, ahem, connections to Boston (see all of my previous blog posts), there is no doubt I'm a huge fan of the quintessential New England mascot, the lobstah. Especially the bright red stuffed kind. (See my friend Lobstah #7 above.) So you know I could not resist these handsome lobstah clothes. And it's been my experience, the ladies can't resist the lobstah look either.
By now you also know my hatred for anything involving water runs deep. This certainly includes bath time. In fact, I have a sneaky suspicion this is something my brother and I will share from the start. But if the poor soul has to be tormented with regular baths, he may as well come out looking as charming and sophisticated as yours truly. If there's any consolation for being completely drenched against your will, hopefully this towel will be his silver lining.
If he's lucky, he may come out of bath time looking half as handsome as me.
While I was browsing through my brother's room, I came across this handsome devil. A little on the small side, but he makes up for his size with strong stature and stoicism. A real American Gentleman. He also makes a lot of strange noises. Reminds me of someone I know.
The second thing I learned about babies is how much they love blankets. Warm, soft, cozy blankets. This is music to my big, pointy ears because I also love blankets. I may or may not be known around here as the blanket hog, since I assume all blankets were made for me. And anyone who knows a Boston Terrier probably knows we love to sleep burrowed completely underneath the covers, almost to the point of being smothered, until suddenly during the middle of the night, we realize we can't breathe and immediately panic. Then we catch our breath and start all over again... and again and again. So you can imagine my delight when I found the mountain of glorious blankets in my brother's room.
Mom was obviously trying to hide these silky smooth blankets from me, but her tricks are no match for my detective skills. Besides someone needs to break these in before my baby brother comes. If warming these blankets up must be my first real duty as The Best Big Brother Ever, then so be it. Besides, volunteering for this difficult task gives me a chance to truly admire my brother's nursery, which thanks to me, is a real work of art.
I must admit I do like the nursery set my humans picked out for my brother. It's a real classic theme featuring planes, cars, and boats in strong "boy" colors like navy blue, red, and grey. All around a solid choice. However, once the room was all set up, I felt it was lacking a little, um, creativity. So I decided my first gift to my baby brother would be to donate a few of my favorite photos to help "elevate" the room, as we artists like to say. Who wouldn't want to wake up to these classy headshots?
Well friends, the planning and preparations are finished and my hard work here is complete. Now all I need is a baby brother, preferably one that likes peace, quiet, and long naps like me. Mom says she feels like a ticking time bomb, which I assume means he should be here any minute. I think I'll just hang out here in his room and rest my eyes until he arrives.
Until next time...
- Bacon the Boston