I never really loved the idea of Halloween. Dressing up in ridiculous costumes, parading around the neighborhood for miles and miles, socializing with creepy little neighborhood kids dressed as ghosts, and witches, and zombies. Not to mention the tricks… oh good grief … all the silly tricks these humans want me to do. And the worst part is I can’t even stuff my face with chocolate to make it all seem worthwhile. So I’ve never really been too keen on Halloween. But this year is different because it turns out these Bostonians are serious about their Halloween festivities.
And I have to admit Boston has good reason to celebrate Halloween, considering all the spooky New England history nearby. For instance, Salem, home of the infamous Salem Witch Trials of 1692, is just a short train ride away. And only a few blocks from my neighborhood lies one of the oldest, creepiest graveyards in America, the Old Granary Burying Ground, where some of Boston’s most notable gentleman share their final resting place, including Samuel Adams, John Hancock, and Paul Revere. Legend has it you can still see their ghosts roaming around at night. I find this place to be so spooky I won’t even think about peeing in there, which Mom can assure you says a lot. Not to mention this city in general is old as dirt, and half of this town used to be a swamp. So if you ask me, Boston has earned the right to celebrate Halloween.
And since Boston is so serious about Halloween, and I’m so serious about trying all things Boston (hence this blog), I decided to join the Halloween bandwagon and wear a costume this year. And it just so happens that Faneuil Hall - a historic meeting place during the 1700s, famous for hosting political speeches from the likes of Samuel Adams and Daniel Webster during colonial times and John Kerry, Mitt Romney, & Barack Obama during recent times - was hosting a Halloween Pet Costume Contest. (Oh how the great places have fallen.)
So I decided to dress up and enter this renowned contest. I set my sights on winning the Best Local Costume category. Soon I had a short list of Boston-inspired costumes, most of which involved food… clam chowder, Boston cream pie, Breakfast Crack from Mike & Patty’s, Maple Bacon Donuts from Union Square Donuts. All of my favorite Boston things... I could go on and on. But as you probably know from my previous posts, since I moved to Boston I have developed a minor obsession with one Boston delicacy in particular... America’s favorite salty crustacean... the Lobstah.
So dressing up like my favorite edible symbol of New England seemed like the perfect way to win. But could I be just any run of the mill lobstah? Of course not. So I started thinking... what’s more popular in Boston than a tasty, juicy fresh whole lobster??
A LOBSTER ROLL!
I make a pretty fine lobster roll, if I do say so myself. Which I do. Because Bostonians are not known for their humility.
For all my Midwestern friends… the lobster roll is essentially the New England version of a hot dog, except you can identify all of the ingredients. Fresh off the boat lobster plus warm melted butter on a soft roll which basically serves the purpose of delivering the lobster to your mouth. Simple, but delicious and perfect for my fast-paced New England lifestyle. Or to eat on the go in between meetings, and by meetings, I mean naps. Or if you're like me and you're too lazy to deconstruct a whole lobster, a lobster roll is the perfect solution.
Here I am mentally preparing for the costume contest.
So just like that, I decided to dress up as a Lobster Roll – the quintessential New England dish. My strategy seemed flawless, how could I possibly lose?
So with my fool proof costume, we set off to Faneuil Hall to kick some pup tails. As soon as we arrived I saw tons of other pups with amazing costumes as well, some classic, some clever, but probably none quite as delicious as mine. There was a headless horseman, a Bad Hombre, a Starbucks Latte, a few Lions, and more. The competition was pretty stiff. But I quickly realized there was one major problem with my Halloween plan... turns out this costume contest also included a Pet Parade around Quincy Market.
Here I am scoping out the competition.
Now I have nothing against Quincy Market or other pups. The problem with parades is they typically involve walking. Now you all know how much I hate walking when I'm totally naked. So close your eyes and imagine trying to walk with 10 walking legs, 3 pairs of claws, 2 antennae, a floppy tail and 2 gigantic buns attached to your hips. Let's just say this short parade turned me into one Salty Lobstah.
There better be a bacon trophy at the end of this red brick road.
Mom says this costume is perfect for me because lobsters are bottom-feeders and I'll eat pretty much anything I find on the floor. #soulmate
Well friends, let me tell you I really turned on the charm for this Halloween contest. I was strutting my stuff down that red brick road, smiling at all the ladies, wagging my red lobstah tail from side to side. Then at the the end of the parade, we each had to walk down the red carpet in front of the judges. Believe it or not, I'm usually a little camera shy, but this time I walked myself right out to the middle of that red carpet, spun myself around, puffed out my chest, and held the perfect Zoolander pose.
#bluesteel
But despite my iconic Boston idea and impeccable delivery, I am sad to report I did not win the Best Local Costume contest. Unforunately, I lost to another Boston dog dressed as a famous local dessert... a cannoli from Mike's Pastry. And to really rub salt in my wound, that pup didn't even have to WALK in the parade, cause she was pushed in her Pastry Box stroller, but I'm not bitter about it at all.
I can't believe I lost to a cannoli.
But even if I didn't win the contest, Mom likes to say I was a "crowd favorite". (Probably just to make herself feel better for subjecting me to two hours of public humiliation.) Looks like I have a pretty specific target audience...
Oh heeey, Ladies. Who wants to save me from my misery?
I was also interviewed by Boston University TV reporters, which really made my day. Then I ran into this Bachelorette Party and who really needs to win a costume contest when you're surrounded by beautiful ladies like this. Looks like my Lobstah game is wicked strong.
Even the bride-to-be and her bachelorette party couldn't resist my Lobstah charm.
Even if the costume contest was a bust, my time as a Lobstah Roll was not over yet. I brought my crustacean talents back to my own neighborhood, Beacon Hill, where people would appreciate my love for all things Boston and lobsters. Beacon Hill has one of the biggest Halloween celebrations in all of Boston. On October 31st, the historic cobblestone streets are decorated with enormous spider webs, spooky gravestones, and creepy crawlers of all shapes and sizes. Not to mention the witches, eeewww, so many witches.
Trick-or-treaters from all over the city come to Beacon Hill to swarm the streets, stopping at each house to show off their latest costumes. And this year, I was no different. That's right friends, this year, I actually went trick-or-treating.
And you know what, I may not have won the Faneuil Hall Halloween Pet Costume Contest, but judging from all the people laughing (hopefully with me, not at me) I think it's pretty safe to say the people of Boston love a good Lobstah Roll.
Now friends... what should I dress up as for next Halloween?